I love burgers. This is a record of my burger eats for posterity, for when I inevitably die of burger related disease and/or obesity.
Let this be a tasty warning. Enjoy !
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APPLE'S BURGER BLOG
Burger Fest UK 2025
Signature Brew
Unit 15, Blackhorse Lane, E17 5QJ
13th to 14th September 2025
Burger Fest 2025 was the first, and I hope not the last, burger festival at the Signature Brew brewery off Blackhorse Lane. It's 10 minutes from Blackhorse Road tube, and 20 minutes from Tottenham Hale (unless you stop for a beer/toilet break at the Ferry Inn....).
Signature Brew are currently hosting 7 Bone burgers, so even though you've missed the festival, there's a reason to visit - as I will do, having skipped them at Burger Fest because I know I'll be seeing them later.
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The Burger Fest was better than I expected, with burgers represented by Black Bear and Bun & Sum (done those), Meatcastles (short of some ingredients so skipped them), Zephyr Burgers (came with fries so skipped them - will visit Plymouth instead), 7 Bone (see above), Baggio Burger which lost out in the "how many burgers can I eat and not die" stakes.​
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The five we did have were Smith's of Bourton, Black Cactus, Strip Club Street Food, Please Sir One More Bite and Smash 'N Slide. See below.
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Additionally there were Gordo's, doing burger laden pizza slices and Outlaw Tacos, doing burger topped Tacos, and Leytonstone Tavern for beers (in addition to the resident bar). There was also Jarritos for sodas which I obviously ignored, but appeared well received - not only because there were free ones available.
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The team also had a series of challenges/competitions, which I would probably have embarrassed myself had I entered, so I didn't - pickle eating, chillies etc.
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So we are rating these just 1 to 5, where 1 is the best. So let's start with the best - Smith's of Bourton. We - my wife and I, I didn't think I'd manage five burgers on my own, and I would have been right, had the "Mr P", which comprised Scotch bonnet jam, gojuchang mayo, Homewrecker pimento cheese, cold smoked bacon and grilled onions. Normally I'd go standard Cheeseburger so this was a departure.
My biggest criticism is the size of the patty versus bun, counter intuitively because the patty is way bigger than the bun which you would think was a good thing. Actually it means face mess from the cheese and sauce from bite one, unless you delicately nibble the edges before attacking the bun and contents, which isn't really me. I also facial hair, so I was pretty sticky by the end, but in a very good way. Pretty minor I know.
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Maybe the meat was a bit lost in the overall flavour, the thinness of the patty contributing, but otherwise it was delicious, and not overly hot despite scotch bonnet and gojuchang. Sweetness and heat perfectly balanced, a genius creation and our top dog.
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Second in my list (wife and I only agreed on first, fourth and fifth) Black Cactus. It doesn't look much, I'm not David Bailey, and it was no frills, and super rich, possibly a bit rare, but I liked it.
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We had the Simple Jack, which was half pound of patty, smoked onion sauce, pickles, cheese and a tallow toasted bun.
As mentioned, it was a very pink patty, with an interesting soft texture which I was surprised more people didn't comment on, and didn't have much external char so lacked a bit of obvious meatiness which is curious as Black Cactus are primarily about barbeque. It was nicely seasoned, and worked well with the cheese which was copious and melty, with delicious pickles. Unfortunately the sauce went AWOL, which didn't stop the classic flavours being present but I felt might have added something. I'd definitely try it again, to see if it was cooked a bit more and whether the sauce made a difference.
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After some deliberation, third for me was Strip Club with their OG Biscoff. This was American cheese, Biscoff spread, crushed Biscoff, maple smoked bacon, and a steamed bun.
If you like Biscoff, you're onto a winner, if not, sorry. Beef is well done, crispy edges, well seasoned and decent flavour, bacon is good and the bun works, but the Biscoff flavour swamps everything - made more emphatic by the spread on the top which holds a biscuit on it.
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It's an imaginative burger for sure, which is why it's third, but it was so sweet I should have had it last and called it dessert. Other attendees really liked it, and it's definitely worth trying, just not my small "c" conservative cup of tea.
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Fourth came the "Limitless" from One More Bite, Kent's self proclaimed best Smash Burger, and it probably is. I am possibly a bit harsh in placing it so low, which is a result of me not actually liking a lot of garlic in aioli, and getting a mouthful of it in my first bite.
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The burger came with Red Leicester cheese (looked more like normal burger cheese to me, but I'm not arguing), garlic mayo, red onion jam, and bacon.
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Once I was over the garlic, I enjoyed the rest. High fat beef cooked well had nice flavour, good bun which felt buttered on the outside did a good job, onions nice, bacon OK.
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Less garlic, more jam would have probably taken this to second, so go try would be my advice. Even at fourth it was more than decent.
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So fifth on the list is the Smash 'N Slide OG Smash. This was House sauce American Cheese, Pickles, Red onions, "Martin's" Potato Bun.
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First thing to say is that this was not bad, and would have certainly had three stars or more had this been a normal review, so no-one needs to be upset it's the last in the list.
The patties weren't as well done as other vendors, no crisp or char, but had a good amount of cheese and pickle. More importantly the onions probably over delivered, they had good flavour and crunch, but too much of a good thing meant that for me the burger as a whole was unbalanced. Good effort though.
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Couple of suggestions, firstly there need to be more seats, probably also some more cover, and secondly open bins to throw rubbish in - it's not a problem for me to lift a wheelie bin lid to chuck my waste into but I'm essentially unhygienic and other punters weren't touching them for love nor money.
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Special mention to the passion in the Please Sir! team, could probably have sold me a car, the announcer who persisted in the face of polite disinterest from at least one person, and the organisers who brought a great group together with well priced burgers (£7 to £10) and some difference with the tacos and pizza. I may have to go Saturday and Sunday next year to get them all in.
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So that's it, a good time had by all, here's to next year!